Denver, Colorado.
I made it through the night in one piece, and left for Denver, which is about 4 hours north. I’m back to staying in regular, non-character hotels. I’m in Henderson, Denver, for three nights, and Kaye will be joining me here on Friday evening when she flies in from San Francisco.
After getting in and settled, I headed to Indrina’s (Goosey) home to visit with Shikha. It was a lovely and wonderful visit, but also very sad and gut wrenching, and I haven’t cried this much for a while.
Almost as I soon as I saw Shikha, and how much her cancer and cognitive decline has diminished, aged, and robbed her I started to cry, and cried for much of our visit. I couldn’t really stop myself, and didn’t want to. Shikha’s circumstance touched deeply upon Bev’s, and Shikha cried repeatedly and talked about how much she missed Bev, and how sorry she was that she never got to see Bev. It may have been that my presence grounded Shikha somewhat, as Indrina said she has not been this coherent in a while. Shikha held onto our conversation, knew both Bev and me well, asked about everyone else, and was quite present and in the moment. Her crying set me off, as well as just seeing Shikha and the situation she’s in.
We cried together, we held hands, we said we loved one another. I told Shikha how important she was to both Bev and me, and we held her in our hearts, just as we now hold Bev in our hearts. I don’t know why I didn’t know just how upsetting this visit would be, but I didn’t, until the moment I stepped inside. I’ll be going back tomorrow and Friday to visit again. Heart breaking. Horrible. Tragic. No words, really.
Dev, Indrina and Eric’s 2-1/2 year old son, is a delight, and very friendly and loving. Likes his popsicles, it seems.
On my way back to the hotel, finally seeing mountains instead of plains, I saw a lovely Denver sunset.
I was deeply moved by seeing Shikha, and it has left me feeling very sad and helpless, as I did with Bev. The things that happen, the lives that are robbed. Bev and Shikha robbed of their very essence, their zest, their joy, their ability to be independent people who can do it themselves, and do not need help.
It made me remember Bev under the worst and most tragic conditions, conditions that Shikha now lives under. Shikha was able to answer when I asked how she felt, “miserable.” Shikha, who was beautiful, warm and generous, funny and fun, happy, filled with life.
